nashville

i have been in nashville for exactly one week today.

already, within one week, i have had some serious realizations.

1.) dogs find the darnest things to eat. some that are very deadly.

2.) the vet clinic down the road is aweful.

3.) what you hope to happen and what will most likely happen are two completely different things.

4.) distance sometimes is make or break.

4a.) in this case, i am afraid it will be break.

5.) and that. well, that is something hard to realize.

pumpkins=smiles

this past week: emotional times like 100.

right now: i want some pumpkins and mums.

i like fall. a lot. and i like to decorate accordingly. i really want to go to a pumpkin patch and find the perfect pumpkin and then some.

moving a week from today. whoa.

scared? i believe so.

that is all.

from half full to half empty in 2.5 seconds...

the chronicles of a girl.

life for me has been lonely lately. not to be all emo and what not, but it has. being 21 and married can be utterly lonely.

i love my job. this is a first in a long time. i feel like for the past year i have been on a never-ending search for a job that i enjoy. it was a vicious cycle really. i would get a new job, enjoy it for like 2 weeks and then be miserable. and when 8 hours of your day is miserable, life is pretty miserable too. i said, 'life is too short to be miserable', so i would start my search yet again for a new job. and 6 jobs (no joke) later, i find myself at one that i don't want to let go of. finally light at the end of the tunnel. and suddenly life is pretty great.

however, there is always something, isn't there? of course. this is life. well, this is my life. and... i don't know what it is. i can never seem to fully come up. i can never see cleary that the class is indeed half full. something inside is screaming 'no, no, NO! it is most definitely half empty, just take a look around'. and then it starts. again. sad. check. insecure. check. worried. check. stressed. check. lonely. check. you get the picture.

so what can i do to shake this? i don't know. maybe tomorrow the glass will be half full.

somedays i feel invisible.

somewhere over the rainbow

for the longest time now i have been wanting to get away... to move to nyc or even across the country. my goal: get out of murfreesboro.

my job is in belle meade. i now have to travel about an hour or more every day. and now nathan is sharing an office in brentwood. we are now at a point where we will need to move closer to nashville.

i have found myself thinking about all the things i will miss about murfreesboro. i have lived here for about 13 years. i know my way around... i have formed relationships... i have memories. i am comfortable. murfreesboro is a strange little town... you never know if it is too big or too small... it has a little charm that sneeks up on you. have you ever heard "don't go into dave's market" thing? where if you go in you will be destined to return to murfreesboro or stay in murfreesboro for the rest of your life. i went in one day, not knowing this. and i said i will NOT stay in murfreesboro, nor will i return when i leave. but now i find myself wanting to stay... or wanting to move back eventually. darn you murfreesboro and your sneeky charm. me and murfreesboro, we have a love/hate thing going on. like dorothy, i am realizing maybe there is no place like home.

so next month we will be moving closer to nashville. i am hoping to embrace this change. i think it will prove to be an exciting and good growth opportunity. and if i do miss it... it is only a short drive away :-)